Some days on this beautiful journey of motherhood I feel like I am all alone. No, I am not a single mom (but shout out to any single mom’s out there cause you all are AMAZING!). And, yes, I have a great support system- a husband, family, friends, etc… BUT some days I feel like no one really gets it. Like no one understands…NO ONE!
My husband who has the biggest glimpse into this job and shares the task of parenthood with me… some days, it feels like he doesn't get it.
My siblings who get to be the “fun” aunts and uncles, but have no babies of their own… most days, they definitely don’t get it J.
My friends, who haven’t yet had babies, but sometimes try to offer wise advice…. don’t get it.
Even my fellow moms out there who may be experiencing the exact same thing I am… some days it feels as though they don’t understand either.
Sometimes I feel like no one could possibly get it. No one could possibly understand this roller coaster ride that is motherhood. The beauty and discouragement. Joy and sadness. Love and sacrifice. And, sometimes just the pure exhaustion.
I was reminded of this during the weekend as my family went on a little over night trip and my younger sister tagged along. After being with our family in a hotel room for less than 24 hours she bluntly stated, “You are an angel, I don’t know how you deal with these kids.” I couldn't help but chuckle. Angel? Probably not. But when my baby was crying his eyes out on our short little road trip, I was there to fix a bottle, sing a lullaby, and gently put my arm around him the best I could until he finally gave up and drifted into sleep. When my toddler was tired, and fell down, and her legs were “broken” I was there to pick her up and carry her even though truth be known I was tired too. When it was time to shop and have fun but my children were done for the day, and clearly not excited to do any shopping, I was the one who chose to call it quits, without making the purchases I wanted, because it was just too much. When it was bedtime and the baby was again screaming his sweet little head off, I held him, and cuddled him, and rocked him until he was peacefully asleep. And then when he woke up at 1, and at 3, and at 5, I was there to wake up from my own sleep and do what was needed to comfort him. And, when my toddler woke up some time in between there because of a bad dream, I was up then too. When they both decided that although it was vacation and we had nowhere to be, 6am was the time to be awake, I was the one who woke up with them, while the others were snoozing. I fixed their plates, and got them dressed, and dealt with their fits, and their messes.
I say all of this not to say that I am awesome. And, there are others who did many things for my kids as well. I’m sure my husband could come up with a long list too. But this is the life of a mom, is it not? My sister got a 1 day glimpse into what many of my days are like, but she still doesn't really get it.
I am so glad that my Father in Heaven sees my heart. He sees what I do each day, every day, when no one else is looking. He sees the 1 am wake up, and then the 3 am, and the 5 am. He knows the times I would rather sleep in but instead I’m awake. And, the times I want to go shopping, or read a book, or watch my tv show, or eat my dinner while it’s warm but instead I am rocking babies, or giving discipline, or reading children’s books, or fixing plates that are not my own.
On those days when it feels like NO ONE could possibly get it, I know He gets it. I know my Heavenly Father understands. Because He doesn’t just see a glimpse, He sees it all, he knows it all. He gets it.
My friends, I LOVE my babies, and I LOVE being a mommy. It is truly one of the biggest blessings in my life. But, there are still those days. I’m sure you have experienced them too. So, on those days, rather than complain or feel sorry for yourself, I encourage you to go to your Heavenly Father. Talk to Him. Seek rest from Him. And, let Him work on your heart. Because when it feels like NO ONE understands, He does.
"You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.2
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.3
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.4
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely."