Rather you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, no doubt
your schedule is busy, and your to do list is never complete. As a mom we are
expected to wear lots of different hats! For me there have been times when I
have been so wrapped up in my to do list- laundry, cleaning, dinner, bath time,
other activities and functions- that I get to the end of the day and realize
although I was with my kids ALL day, I wasn't REALLY WITH THEM. I hadn't taken
the time to be with them. Sure, I filled a sippy cup in between tasks, I
hurried them to nap time so that I could accomplish a few more things, but I
hadn't been intentional in my time with them.
I don’t know about you, but I want to be a mom who is really
with my kids each day. I am still learning, but here are a few tips I have
found very helpful in order to keep the balance in my household while still
having intentional time with my children.
#1 Have an approximate schedule for the day.
As moms, we all know that a lot of time schedules get thrown
out the window, so I am not saying have every minute of your day scheduled.
But, have an idea in your head of what you would like to see your day look
like. For example, I know that around 7:00 I’m going to spend about 45 minutes
getting drinks and breakfast, watching cartoons, and giving my babies morning
cuddles; around 10:00 I’m going to spend a few minutes doing an activity with
my kids followed by a snack; around 11:00 I’m going to work with my kids to get
the play area picked up before lunch…. Etc. There are days when a teething baby
throws the whole routine off, and that’s fine, but in general this has been
great for our routine.
#2 Have intentional conversations with your kids throughout
the day (even the ones that can’t really talk).
I have been intentional about this one. I choose not to just
shrug off my 3 year old who could talk non-stop all day long, instead I ask her
questions. At the beginning of the day it may go something like this: How did
you sleep? Did you have any dreams? What do you want to do today? Did you have
fun yesterday? What did you do? At the end of the day it may look like this:
Did you have a good day? What was your favorite part of today? Why?
If she has a story to tell, I ask for details. I engage her.
I want her to know I’m listening.
#3 Enlist them in helping with whatever you are doing.
This is something you can start doing with your kids when
they are still very young. Have them help you pick up the living room. As they
get older let them help you unload the dishwasher, wash dishes, sweep the
floor, make lunch, etc. Sometime it does feel like extra work to have them
alongside of you, but it keeps them occupied, teaches them the importance of
helping, and allows them to feel like a part of your day.
#5 Take intentional breaks throughout the day to do specific
activities with your kids.
After I have completed one task and am ready to move onto
the next I often times stop and intentionally do something with my kids. Maybe
it’s going outside to swing, blow bubbles, create with sidewalk chalk? Maybe,
it’s reading some books, having a tea party, building a block tower, or doing a
craft?
They really feel special when you stop and focus solely on
them for a few minutes.
#6 Put your phone away for a while.
I have had to learn throughout the day to put my cell phone
on silent and put it up, especially during those times of focused activity with
my kids. Simple idea, but such a big impact.
#7 Set a timer for different activities throughout the day.
This is useful both for your own personal to do list AND for
your activity time with your kids. In order to keep a good balance throughout
the day I find setting a timer for things SO helpful. I’ll clean for 30
minutes, and then spend an intentional 30 minutes with my kids. Do laundry for
15 minutes, then stop and spend 10 minutes reading a book to my kids. This will
look different for every mom, but has allowed me to take control of my time
without feeling extra stress.
#8 Have intentional eye contact time with your kids each
day.
With little ones, tickle time is a great way to look them
right in the eyes, tell them you love them, laugh with them a little, and then
you both feel better moving on to whatever is next in your day. With older
children this will look different but intentionally having “eye to eye” time
each day does something to show your children your unconditional love.
#9 Have a day all about them.
Every once in a while it is great to throw the to do list
out and just BE with your kids ALL DAY LONG. Don’t worry about the pile of
dishes or laundry, just intentionally be with them. They will surely appreciate
it!
I hope you find these ideas helpful! What intentional parenting tips would you add to the list?
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